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But he could get used to it, if he let himself.
His eyes narrowed at the thought. He couldn’t get distracted from his purpose now, not when he was so close. Emily was a danger, and she didn’t even realize it. She had the power to help him forget, and he didn’t want that. Donner had hurt her brother, but he’d taken the only family Judd had ever known. Whenever he remembered Max’s face, usually smiling, sometimes solemn, occasionally stern, his stomach tightened into a knot. Max was the finest, most honest person Judd had ever known, the only one who’d really cared about him.
Except for Emily.
Judd squeezed his eyes shut to block the thought. What Emily felt or didn’t feel for him couldn’t matter. Not now. Probably not ever. Judd wouldn’t give up until Donner was put away. And after that, he’d have no more reason to be with her.
He was just reaching for the phone to call Emily, when the damn thing rang, causing him to jump. He snatched the receiver. “Yeah?”
“Judd, I’m glad I could reach you. Are you sitting down?”
Startled, it took Judd a second to answer. The lieutenant knew better than to call him at his apartment. It was a real breach of security. Something big must have happened. Trying to sound casual, he said, “As a matter of fact, I’d just propped my feet up. I’ve had a hell of a long—”
Howell interrupted. “Well, your day’s about to get a whole lot longer.” He hesitated, then added, “You remember that little lady you mentioned to me the other day? The rich one. She still hanging around with you?”
“Emily?” Judd didn’t say that he couldn’t forget her even if he tried. He cleared his throat. Even though he was as sure as he could be that no bugs existed in the apartment, he wouldn’t take any chances. “Sure. In fact, I was just thinking about her. I guess we’ve got a regular thing going, at least for a while.”
“I see.” Judd could hear the restrained frustration in Howell’s tone. “That being the case and all, I thought you ought to know, I just heard the little lady had her house broken into.”
Judd felt his stomach lurch. “What?”
There was an expectant silence, then, “I recognize that tone, Judd. Just calm down and let me tell you what I know.”
“Is Emily all right?”
“She’s fine, just a little shaken up, I gather. It only happened a few minutes ago, but I thought…Judd?”
Judd cursed and pushed his feet back into his shoes, “I’m on my way.”
He vaguely heard Howell protesting, and knew he’d catch hell later for hanging up on the lieutenant, but the only thought that mattered was seeing Emily. He raced out the front door, only stopping long enough to grab his jacket and his Beretta.
Ten minutes and three red lights later—which he ran—Judd decided he was too old to take this kind of stress. His palms were sweating and his head was pounding. He hadn’t felt this kind of nauseating fear since the call telling him Max had been shot in the line of duty. But Judd hadn’t made it then. He’d gotten to the hospital too late. Max had died only minutes before he arrived.
He stepped more firmly on the accelerator, pushing the old truck and thanking the powers that be for the near-empty roads that lessened the danger of his recklessness. His hands tightened on the wheel as his urgency increased. He could literally taste his fear.
When he sped into the curving driveway and saw the two black and whites parked there, he didn’t stop to think about an excuse for his timely arrival. He simply busted through the door, his eyes searching until he found Emily.
She sat at the kitchen table holding an ice pack to her cheek. That alone was enough to make his blood freeze. She looked up, and the moment she saw him, her eyes widened, and then she smiled. “Judd.”
He stalked toward her, sank to the floor beside her seat and took her hand in his. With his other hand, he lifted the ice pack so he could survey the damage. “Are you all right?”
She blinked away tears then glanced nervously at the hovering officers. “I’m fine, Judd. But how—”
Already her cheek was bruising and her eye was a bit puffy. Still holding her hand, Judd came to his feet and glared at the officers. “Who did this?”
“We don’t know, Detective. We’re still trying to find out all the details.”
“Did you check the house? Has anyone searched the yard?” He didn’t wait for an answer, but bent back to Emily. “Tell me what happened, honey.”
She gave a nervous laugh, then quickly sobered. “Really, Judd, there’s no reason to yell at the nice officers. They came almost as soon as I called.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
He realized what a ridiculous question that was almost as soon as he made the demand. Emily thought he was a male stripper. Why would she call him? That fact had his temper rising again.
She leaned toward him and patted his shoulder. “Shh. It’s all right, Judd. Just calm down.”
She was trying to soothe him? Judd gave her a blank stare, then shook his head. “Emily…”
“I was waiting for your call. I guess after you left…I forgot to reset the alarm, because I was making tea when suddenly someone started opening the door.”
“Oh, honey.” Judd wrapped her in his arms, lifting her from the seat at the same time. “You must have been scared half to death.”
Emily had to speak against his chest, since he was still holding her tight. He couldn’t let her go just yet. He was still suffering from all the terrible thoughts that had raced through his head after Lieutenant Howell’s call.
“I suppose I was scared at first,” she said. “I know I screamed loud enough to startle the ducks on the lake. Then the man sort of just jumped toward me. And without really thinking about it, I turned the faucet sprayer on him.” She leaned back to see Judd’s face. “Do you remember me telling you the water heater was in need of repair? Well, I had the water running hot for my tea, and when he came at me, I just grabbed the hose and aimed at his face. At least, I think I hit his face. It was dark in here and everything happened so fast. I do know he yelled really loud, so I think the hot water must have hurt him.”
Judd touched his fingers to her bruised cheek. “How did this happen?”
Emily looked very sheepish now, and her cheeks turned a bright pink. “It’s really rather silly. You see, after the man yelled, I jerked away and ran for the library so I could use the phone. But, uh…” It was obvious to Judd she was embarrassed as her eyes again went to the two cops. “I tripped just inside the door. I hit my cheek on the leg of a chair.”
Bemused, Judd asked, “The guy who broke in didn’t do this to you?”
“No. I did it to myself. I think he left right after I shot him with the water. I locked the library door and called the police. When they got here, he was gone.”
One of the cops cleared his throat. “We checked the water in her faucet. It’s scalding hot. It’s a wonder she hasn’t burned herself before.” Then he grinned. “You might want to get that checked.”
Judd stared.
Emily pulled on his sleeve, regaining his attention. “Do you remember me telling you about my father burning his hand on the faucet? It really does get hot, hot enough to make tea without boiling the water. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the fellow has a serious burn on his face.”
Feeling as though he’d walked into bedlam, Judd shook his head then turned his attention to the two officers. “Call Howell and tell him I’m spending the night here. And go check the area. With any luck, the bastard might still be out there if he’s burned all that bad.”
Both men nodded and started away. Judd turned to Emily, ready to lecture her on the importance of keeping her alarm set, when he felt her stiffen. She looked paper-white and her bottom lip trembled. He grabbed her arm and gently forced her back into her chair.
“Emily, I thought you said you were all right.”
Her lips moved, but she didn’t make a sound.
“Are you going to faint? Are you hurt somewhere?” He v
ery carefully shook her. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
His urgency must have gotten through to her, for she suddenly cleared her throat, and her expression slowly changed to a suspicious frown. “One of the officers called you detective. And you’re ordering them around as if you have the right. And even more ridiculous than that, they’re letting you.”
“Oh, hell.” Judd wondered if there was any way for him to get out of this one. How could he have been so careless? Howell would surely have his head. His mind whirled with possible lies, but he couldn’t see Emily believing any of them. She wasn’t stupid, after all, just a bit naive.
He watched her face as he tried to come up with a logical, believable explanation, and he saw the confusion in her eyes, then the growing anger. One of the uniforms came around the corner and said, “Detective, I have Lieutenant Howell on the phone. He said he needed to talk to you, sir, uh…now.” And Judd knew Emily had finally guessed the truth.
Before she could move, he cupped her cheeks, being especially gentle with her injury. “I can explain, honey. I swear. Just sit tight a second, okay? Right now, I have to pacify an enraged superior.”
“Oh, I’ll wait right here, Detective. You can count on it.”
Judd didn’t like the sound of that one little bit. But it was her look, one of mean anticipation, that had him frowning. This whole damn day had been screwy, starting with Emily cooking him breakfast. He should have known right then he wouldn’t end it with his safe little world intact.
No, Emily had turned him upside down.
The hell of it was, he liked it.
EMILY LISTENED as Judd went through a long series of explanations over the phone. Yes, he could handle everything…No, his cover wasn’t blown as long as Howell set things right with the two officers. Ha! His cover was most definitely blown. Emily wanted to interject at that point, but Judd watched her as he spoke, and so she kept herself still, her expression masked, she hoped.
Her cheek was still stinging, but not as much as her pride. Lord, Emily, you’ve been a fool. Hadn’t she known from the start that Judd didn’t belong in the east side of Springfield? He talked the talk, and dressed the code, but something about him had been completely out of sync. He could be every bit as hard and cynical as the other roughnecks, but his behavior was forced. It wasn’t something that came to him naturally.
She closed her eyes as she remembered offering him money to drop the case. If he reminded her of that, she just might…no. She would not lower herself to his level of deceit.
That decision did her little good when Judd hung up the phone and came back to kneel by her chair. He lifted the ice pack again and surveyed her bruised cheek with a worried frown. “I wonder if you should go to the hospital and have this checked.”
“No.”
Her curt response didn’t put him off. “Does it hurt?”
“No.”
His fingertips touched her, coasting over her abraded skin and causing goose bumps to rise on her arms. He ended by cupping her cheek and slowly rubbing his thumb over her lips. Then he sighed. “Just sit tight and I’ll make you that tea. After everyone’s cleared out, we’ll talk.”
Emily watched him bustle around the kitchen, thinking he looked curiously right there. It was almost as if the room had been built for his masculine presence.
The quarry-stone floor seemed every bit as sturdy and hard as Judd, the thick, polished pine cabinets just as comforting. There were no frilly curtains, no pastel colors to clash with his no-nonsense demeanor.
Emily made a disgusted face at herself. Comparing Judd to a kitchen? Maybe she had hit her head harder than she thought.
When he sat the tea in front of her, she accepted it with a mumbled thanks. Moments later, the officer who’d been outside came in and shook his head. “Not a sign of anything. It doesn’t even look as if the door was tampered with.”
Judd turned to Emily with a stern expression. “It was locked, wasn’t it?”
Since she was already mortified over the evening’s events, she didn’t bother to try to hide her blush. “I really have no idea. I can’t recall locking it, but sometimes I just do it by rote.”
“Emily…”
She knew that tone. “Don’t lecture me now, Detective. I’m really not in the mood.”
She was saved from his annoyance by the remaining officer coming downstairs. “I checked out the other rooms. They’re clean. I don’t believe he ever left the kitchen. Probably took off right after she splashed him, going out the way he came in.”
Judd worked his jaw. “I suppose you’re right. You guys can take off now. I’ll stay with Miss Cooper.”
Since Emily had a lot of questions she wanted answered, she didn’t refute him. It took the officers another five minutes to actually go, and then finally, she and Judd were alone. Sitting opposite him at the table, Emily prepared to launch into her diatribe on the importance of honesty and to vent her feelings of abuse, when Judd spoke in a low, nearly inaudible tone.
“Clayton Donner shot Max about six months ago. I was out on assignment, and by the time I got to the hospital, Max was dead. I’ve made it my personal business to get Donner, and I’ll damn well do whatever I have to until he’s locked up.”
Emily didn’t move. She heard the unspoken words, telling her he wouldn’t let her—or her feelings for him—get in his way. She’d thought she had a good personal reason to want Donner, but her motivation was nothing compared to Judd’s. Without thinking, she reached out and took his hand. She didn’t say a word, and after a few seconds, Judd continued.
“I told you Max had taken me in. He was everything to me, the only family I’d ever had. He was a regular street cop, and his run-in with Donner was pure coincidence. Max had only been doing a routine check on a disturbance, but he inadvertently got too close to the place where Donner was making a deal.” Suddenly Judd’s fist slammed down on the table and he squeezed his eyes shut.
“Judd?”
“Max got shot in the back.” Judd drew a deep breath and squeezed Emily’s hand. She squeezed back. He wouldn’t look at her, but she could see his jaw was rigid, his eyes red. Her heart felt as though it were crumbling.
“We all knew it was Donner, but we couldn’t get anything concrete on him. And to try him without enough evidence, and take the chance of letting him go free…I don’t think I could stand it. I have to see him put away. Regardless of anything, or anyone, I’ll get him.”
Wishing he’d told her all this because he wanted to, not because he’d been forced, wouldn’t get Emily anywhere. And she couldn’t, in good conscience, interfere. Not when she could see how much getting Donner meant to him. “I understand.”
“Do you?” For the first time, Judd looked up at her, and that look held so many different emotions, Emily couldn’t begin to name them all. But the determination, the obsession, was clear, and it scared her. “I left everything behind when I followed Donner here,” he said. “Springfield is just like my own home ground. Every city has an area with run-down housing and poverty, a place where kids are forgotten or ignored, where crime is commonplace and accepted. I fit in there, Em. I’m right at home. Sooner or later, I will get Donner. But not if you blow my cover. What happened tonight can’t happen again.”
Emily knew he wasn’t talking about the break-in. “What—exactly—did happen, Judd?”
“I lost my head, and that’s bad. I can’t be sidetracked from this assignment.”
“You know I want Donner, too.”
“Not like I do.”
She would have liked to probe that a little more, but she held her tongue. She was afraid he was trying to find a way to say goodbye, to explain why he couldn’t see her anymore. “What do you want me to do?”
Judd shot from his chair with an excess of energy. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and stalked the perimeter of the room as if seeking an escape. Finally, he stopped in front of the window, keeping his back to Emily. “I want you to understand that I can’t
let you get in my way. I can’t…can’t care about you. But when I think about what might have happened tonight….”
“You need me to stay out of your way?” Emily heard the trembling in her tone, but hoped Judd hadn’t.
He whirled to face her. “No. Just the opposite, in fact.”
She blinked twice and tried to still the frantic pounding of her pulse.
Again, Judd took his seat. “I work as a stripper in the bar because Donner does a lot of his business in the office upstairs. I’ve set myself up to get hired by him.”
“That’s what you were doing in the pool hall,” Emily said with sudden insight. “You were impressing him, by being like him.”
Judd nodded. “Everyone around there believes I’m out for a fast buck, a little fun, and not much else. That makes me Donner’s ideal man. Making contact with him today was important. He’ll be coming to me soon, I’m sure of it. He’s intrigued, because he doesn’t like people to refuse him, the way I refused him at the pool hall. I’d like to steer clear of you, to keep you uninvolved.” He cast her a frustrated glance. “But it’s too late for that.”
Her stomach curled. “It is?”
One brisk nod was her answer. “I need you, Em. My superior thinks it’s risky to make any changes now. He’s already furious that you know my cover, but that can’t be helped, short of calling everything off. And I don’t want that. He’ll pull the officers who were here tonight, because by rights, they screwed up, too. They shouldn’t have acknowledged me as a detective, but they’re rookies and…” He trailed off, then frowned at her. “If you suddenly stopped hanging around, after the scene we played out today at the pool hall, Donner might get suspicious. The whole deal could be blown. And it’s too late for that.”
Emily tried to look understanding, but she was still reacting to Judd’s casual words. He needs you, Emily. She knew she would do whatever she could for him. “Has…has something come up? Something definite?”
“I think so. I visited Frog again after I left here. Next Wednesday night, Donner will be making a pickup.”