Mr. November Read online

  “She’s jealous,” he said, still grinning like the village idiot.

  Vicki peered at him askance. “I was…um, under the impression you didn’t like jealous women.”

  “Amanda is special,” he told her by way of an explanation.

  “She is?”

  “Yes.” And then gently, “That’s what I was just about to tell you. I’m officially out of commission. No more dating.”

  Her jaw loosened. “You’re kidding.”

  “Sorry, no.” It was all Josh could do to keep from laughing. Oh, some men might run from the sudden idea of getting pulled from the dating scene, but not him. Hell, he’d spent all his life playing around. He’d enjoyed himself and he was pretty sure the women he’d been with would say the same. He had no regrets. But now…Amanda affected him differently. She was different.

  He thought of Mick and Zack, how they’d gotten involved recently. Mick had already married Delilah, and Zack and Wynonna had set a date. But before that, both men had fought the inevitable tooth and nail, to the point they’d almost messed things up.

  Josh considered himself smarter than that. He’d been with enough women to know what he felt around Amanda was different and unique. As he’d told Vicki, special.

  He wouldn’t blow it. No way.

  Vicki frowned at him, looking like someone had just goosed her. He gave her an apologetic shrug. “I’m sure you understand why you shouldn’t call anymore, and why we can’t be standing here in the walkway like this.”

  “No, actually I don’t understand.” She searched his face, then put the back of her hand to his forehead. “You’re not acting like yourself, Josh. Are you okay?”

  Josh set her aside. He almost rubbed his hands together, thinking of his plans. More to himself than Vicki, he said, “There’s a good chance this might work out with Amanda. I don’t want to blow it by fooling around. As you just witnessed, she doesn’t like the idea of me with other women.”

  “And that matters to you? Her likes and dislikes?”

  “Of course it does.”

  Josh decided he’d make a few calls that night, let the women he still saw know that he wasn’t available anymore. He’d give Amanda all his considerable concentration. It’d have to be enough.

  Having made up his mind, he nodded to Vicki. “I need to get inside. The longer she sits there, the more she’ll stew and the longer she’ll want to make me suffer.”

  Still wary of his sudden turnaround, Vicki said, “Well, okay. But if you change your mind…”

  “I won’t.”

  She shook her head. “Good luck then.” She gave him another brief hug and left.

  Good luck indeed, Josh thought, peeking into Marcos and seeing Amanda staring stonily toward him. Had she watched the whole exchange in the doorway, and seen that last farewell hug? Probably. She sat at a round table in the corner, and she didn’t look happy.

  Josh shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered in. He almost whistled, but he thought that might be overdoing it. When he reached the table, Amanda snapped open her menu, using it to hide behind.

  Josh dropped into his seat. She was so adorable. And so damn vulnerable. And so incredibly hot. “I hope you’re hungry, because I’m ravenous.”

  She harrumphed.

  “Yeah,” he said, trying to gauge her mood. “about that woman I was with outside…”

  “Not my business.”

  Her words were brisk and cold and, damn it, he couldn’t help himself. He liked it that she was piqued. He sat back in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest, and said, “I told her I was unavailable now.”

  Amanda slapped the menu down. “You did what?”

  “I told her I was—”

  “I heard that,” she snapped impatiently. “Why would you tell her such an idiotic thing?”

  Josh slid his foot over next to hers. The long tablecloths on the round tables hid their legs, and gave him the opportunity to play footsies. He rubbed his ankle against hers. Amanda’s eyes rounded and she jumped, making him smile.

  He was willing to bet Amanda had never played footsies under the table.

  He was willing to bet there was a lot she hadn’t done, and thinking that would definitely give him a boner, so he brought his mind back to more important issues. “I told you I was only seeing one woman right now.”

  She denied that with a hard shake of her head. “Not me.”

  “Yeah, you.”

  “Josh, no.” The pulse in her throat fluttered and her hands flattened on the tabletop. “Once the calendar is complete, there’ll be no reason for me to see you again.”

  He didn’t like the sound of that at all. “Unacceptable.”

  She drew back like a verbal prizefighter, ready to go for the knockout—and luckily the waiter stepped forward. “What can I get you folks to drink?”

  Amanda sputtered. Josh slid in smoothly with, “Coffee for me. Amanda?”

  Her teeth clinked together. She glared at the hapless waiter, then muttered, “Ice water.”

  “Only ice water?” Josh questioned.

  Without looking at him, she said again to the hovering waiter, enunciating sharply, “Ice—water.”

  “Yes ma’am. I’ll get your drinks right away.”

  Josh chuckled. “You terrorized that poor boy.”

  “I did not.”

  “Look at him.”

  She glanced toward the kitchen area where the waiter whispered to another while gesturing with his hands. Both young men glanced at her, then quickly dashed away, trying to look busy, when they saw they had her attention.

  Amanda moaned. She propped her head up with her hands and said, “You’re such a bad influence.”

  “Blaming me for your nasty temper?” He pretended a grave affront. “Tsk tsk. Not fair, sweetheart. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in a cheerful mood.”

  Rather than comment on his mood, and why he was cheerful, she said, “I am not your sweetheart.”

  “Not yet anyway. But I’m working on it.” It was a good thing they were in a public place, Josh thought. He had no doubt she’d just mentally bashed him real good.

  “I never had a nasty temper before meeting up with you.”

  “I noticed.” He said it kindly, with a measure of sympathy. “You kinda worked in one gear, didn’t you? Bland.”

  “Controlled,” she grumbled through her teeth. “Polite. Mannerly, considerate, respectful…”

  Josh laughed. Riling her was so easy, he could hardly credit that he’d ever believed her prudish or bland. “Okay! I get the picture. So I bring out the beast in you, huh?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.” Her fingernails, today painted a rosy almost-red, tapped on the tabletop. “Actually, I thought about that last night.”

  “About me?” Now they were getting somewhere.

  “This is not a reason to be hopeful, Josh. I thought about how horribly I’d behaved, how I’m going to have to work doubly hard to maintain an even keel around you.”

  The bottom dropped out of his stomach. She sounded so serious, so self-castigating. “I wish you wouldn’t.” And before she could go into another cold explanation, he added, “I thought about you a lot last night, too. About how nice it was to hear you laugh and see you being just a little bit devilish. Much nicer than when you’re working so hard to be refined and unemotional.”

  “I have my reasons.”

  “I wish you’d share them with me.”

  “I doubt they’d make any difference to a man like you.”

  Now that was an insult he couldn’t ignore. “A man like me, huh? Why don’t you explain that.”

  A stony expression had entered her eyes. “I care about the calendar, about those less fortunate who’ll benefit by the proceeds. I would think with you being a firefighter, you’d be especially empathetic also.”

  His face muscles felt too tight to allow him to speak, but he managed. “What makes you think I’m not? What gives you the right to judge me?”


  A moment of uncertainly flashed over her features. “You wanted nothing to do with the calendar.”

  “I see. And your project is the only way to help? Money and time can’t be donated directly? There aren’t other projects going on?”

  Just like that, she paled. Guilt, heavy and ugly, visibly weighed her down. “You do all those things?”

  He’d said too much. God knew, he hadn’t wanted to upset her, to bring on such a pained expression. He flattened his mouth in self-disgust, and reached for her hand.

  In turn, she reached for a leather case by her seat and he was left grasping air. Josh retreated as she extracted a folder. In a small, apologetic voice, she said, “I brought the photos you requested.”

  “Amanda.”

  “You can look them over and see which ones you like.”

  He ignored the glossy eight-by-ten photographs. “You’re right that my job makes me more sensitive to some issues, especially concerning burn victims.”

  Face averted, she rushed to say, “We don’t need to talk about this.”

  “I’ve seen the reality of what a burn victim suffers, how his life is affected.”

  “Josh please.” She looked around the restaurant as if seeking help.

  Josh frowned, and pressed her despite her upset. He had to know. “Why are you so concerned, baby? Explain it to me.”

  She exploded. Hands flat on the table, voice elevated enough to draw attention, she all but shouted, “I am not your baby! I will never be your damned baby!”

  So much bottled emotion, so much she kept repressed. Josh tickled his fingertips up her wrist to her elbow. “I figure your jealousy is a good sign. At the very least I know you’re not being honest when you say you’re uninterested.”

  Her face frozen, she fanned out the pictures, slapping them into place one by one, and growled, “As you can see, the photos are done in bright, eye-catching colors with natural backdrops—”

  “The way I see it, once you tell me what your hang-ups are, we can work on getting past them.” God, let him be able to get her past them. He now had a few suspicions and consequently his stomach was in knots and it felt like his heart had cramped.

  Gently, with loads of reassurance, he added, “I’m willing to be patient, by the way, if you need some time for that. It’ll make me nuts, because I want you really bad, but I figure you’re worth the wait.”

  One of the pictures tore in her hands. She stared at it, appalled. “Look what you made me do.”

  “You have other copies?”

  She nodded. “Yes. And it’s already been sent to the printer anyway. But…”

  The waiter cautiously approached. “Um…I have your drinks and if you’re ready to order…”

  Josh scooped up the photos. Amanda looked a little numb and he soothed her by rubbing his thumb on the inside of her delicate wrist.

  She jerked back. “I’ll have the soup and a salad with lo-cal Italian dressing.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” The waiter hastily scribbled down her order, anxious, no doubt, to escape once again. The tension at the table was thick enough to choke on.

  He looked at Josh.

  “A burger, loaded, double order of fries, and a chocolate malt.” He eyed Amanda. “You sure you don’t want something more than soup?”

  She appeared too dazed to answer, so Josh closed the menus and said quietly to the waiter, “That’ll be it.”

  The waiter escaped with alacrity.

  Josh sought her small feet out again and enclosed them in both of his, making sure she couldn’t escape. Amanda looked up at him.

  “It’s okay you know.”

  “No.” She shook her head and her eyes looked shiny with dazed confusion. “It’s not okay.”

  “Why?” He reached for her hand and amazingly enough, she let him enfold her fingers in his own. She even gripped him tightly.

  “You’re making me muddled, Josh. I don’t want to be muddled.”

  “Muddled is good. It means you’re maybe just a little bit as affected by all this as me.”

  “All this?”

  She looked skeptical again. “Sexual chemistry, instant attraction, whatever you want to call it.”

  Regaining some of her old self, she scoffed. “Do I really look that naïve, Josh, that stupid? Or have you forgotten you already told me what you want and why? A little retaliation, a little payback because I was too persistent in getting you involved with the calendar.”

  “That is what I wanted—at first.”

  “Oh, and now you’ve suddenly got more altruistic motives?”

  “No, now I know you a little better and I’ve smelled you and laughed with you, and I want you. Just because you’re sexy as hell and you turn me on and because in some strange skewed way, your laugh is almost more exciting than sex with other women.”

  Her face flamed. She almost choked, swallowed a large drink of her water, then said, “You smelled me?”

  Covering his grin, Josh pressed his thumb to the racing pulse in her wrist and said, “The smell of your skin makes me hard. I want to get you naked and smell you all over, everywhere. I want to rub myself against you until our two scents mix.”

  She went mute.

  Josh leaned across the table and lowered his voice to a barely-there whisper. “Do you know what you smell like, Amanda?”

  She shook her head and stared at his mouth.

  Damn, he thought, seeing her skin rosy with warmth, her eyes darkened. He wanted to kiss her, right here, right now.

  He had a feeling she’d let him.

  So what did he care if they were in a public place, if other patrons saw them? He didn’t. They’d already seen them arguing, so now they’d just think they’d made up.

  Besides, he ate at Marcos regularly with Mick and Zack. Most everyone there already knew him, so they’d understand.

  Josh slowly moved closer to her, watching her lips part, seeing her tongue move behind her teeth, and…

  “Hey Josh.” A hard thwack on his shoulder almost took him out of his chair.

  Josh straightened with a wince. Mick and Zack stood there, smiling down at him.

  “Go away.”

  Amanda gasped.

  Josh shook his head at her. “Don’t worry, they won’t think I’m rude.”

  “Of course we will,” Zack disagreed, and pulled a chair from another table to join them. “Hey, Ms. Barker. How are you doing?”

  “Fine.” Her voice squeaked and she cleared her throat. “How are you, Mr. Grange?”

  Josh stared at one of his best friends. “You know Amanda?”

  “Sure I do. We’ve spoken several times.”

  Amanda looked flushed. “I wanted Mr. Grange to pose for the calendar, too. I know he’s a paramedic, but he does work for the fire department. With his excellent physique and good looks, he’d have been perfect.”

  Zack chuckled. “Don’t you just love how she states all that without leering? Too bad it never worked out.” He said that tongue in cheek, because Josh knew exactly how Zack would feel about posing in a beefcake photo. “I had all that overtime, remember?”

  Josh remembered that he’d volunteered for a load of overtime just recently.

  Mick, too, pulled up a chair, turning it around and sitting with his arms braced on the chair back. “Hi. I’m Mick Dawson, a friend of theirs, too.”

  She nodded. “Hello.” She looked Mick over with professional interest. “Hmmm. I never saw you at the fire station. Are you a firefighter, a paramedic? Either way, we could have really used you on the calendar, too.”

  Josh rolled his eyes. “Amanda, please stop telling all my friends how sexy and gorgeous you think they are. It’s embarrassing.”

  Zack snickered. “For you maybe.”

  Amanda, red-faced with embarrassment, threw her spoon at him. It bounced off his chest. Josh caught it, grinned and handed it back to her.

  “I’m with the police,” Mick interjected, regaining Amanda’s notice before a war broke out. �
�Undercover.”

  Amanda looked awed at that information. “Undercover!”

  Josh spread his arms wide. “Gee, why don’t you guys join us?”

  His sarcasm was completely ignored. “Thanks,” Zack said, then asked, “What’s with the pics?”

  Amanda cleared her throat yet again, though she kept sneaking peeks at Mick. Josh was used to that. Mick was so dark, an air of mystery just clung to him, attracting women for miles. Amazingly, Mick had been mostly oblivious to them all—until Delilah invaded his life. Then he’d fallen hard.

  While peering at Mick, Amanda’s blush intensified, but now her expression was clear of any sexual interest. If anything, she looked more remote than ever. “The lieutenant has finally agreed to pose for the calendar,” she explained to Zack, “but he wanted to see some of the various shots first.”

  Mick snatched them out of Josh’s hand and flipped through them. After he looked at each picture, he handed it across the table to Zack. Together they “hmmed” and “hummed” to the point of real irritation.

  “They’re all ridiculous,” Josh grumbled, feeling a little ill at ease. “Firemen do not work without shirts or helmets. That’s just plain stupid. Why aren’t any of them in real uniform? Where’s the turn-out gear? The steel-toed boots?”

  Amanda made an impatient sound. “We wanted them to look sexy.”

  “Yeah, well no one cares how sexy they look when they’re putting out a damn fire. There’s no helmets, no Nomex hoods, and not a single S.C.B.A.”

  Zack shrugged. “The calendar isn’t meant as a career description. It’s just for fun.”

  “Fun? Did you see this one? The guy has his bunker coat on, but it’s hanging open to show off his shaved chest.” Josh grunted in disgust. “Wouldn’t do him a damn lot of good that way would it?”

  Zack turned to Amanda and excused Josh’s surly mood by saying, “Being the lieutenant and all, he has to take his responsibility to the crew pretty serious.”

  “You know,” Mick interjected, putting the remaining photos aside, “I’ve seen Josh at a fire when he’s pulled on his bunker gear right over his underwear.” In a lower, confiding voice, he added, “You know—no uniform.”

  “Yeah,” Zack said, nodding. “He does do that a lot. And after he finishes with the call, he has a habit of jerking off his jacket and strutting around all dirty and bare-chested with his suspenders loose enough that you think his pants are going to fall right off.” Zack leaned toward Amanda, who leaned away. “Josh has a hairy chest, not like the Romeo in the photo. I think he likes showing it off.”