The Gift of Love Read online

  “God, no.” He cherished his time with each of them.

  Briana’s smile flickered. “Because you love them. I understand that. But it’s still a lot for one person to deal with.”

  He’d lost his dad when he was young, so yeah, his mother had done the whole single parent thing, which made them exceptionally close. He adored her, so of course he worried about her.

  She hadn’t had a reoccurring stroke, thank God, and she’d managed a lot of recovery. But the doctors couldn’t make promises for continued good health, and that factored into what he needed for the future—guaranteed stability for his daughter.

  Bri fidgeted. “You wanted to talk?”

  Jack sipped at his remaining coffee. “You’re very good with Wendy.”

  Her brows lifted. “I adore her.”

  She said that so matter-of-factly that Jack knew he was making the right decision. “She adores you, too.”

  “I know.” As if confiding in him, she leaned forward and said in a hushed voice, “Her teacher at the new private school is nice, and of course she’s qualified, but Wendy doesn’t respond to her as well as she does to me.”

  “You’re special to her.” Jack saw the spark in her eyes at that admission. “And actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  As if awaiting something monumental, Bri folded her hands on the tabletop. “Okay.”

  Her attitude stymied him a little, but he forged on anyway. “I do the best that I can with Wendy—”

  “You’re an excellent father in every way.”

  Jack paused. She always flattered him, but sometimes her faith in him was humbling. “Thank you.” Surely she recognized his flaws. He had them and he knew it. Plenty of them. “I do my best, but Wendy still needs a mother, too.”

  Too quickly, Briana said, “A mother’s influence can never be discounted.”

  That rapid-fire agreement threw Jack but didn’t take him completely off course. “Mom made a good point today during our chat. If something should happen to me—”

  “Don’t even say that!” She turned fierce and flustered. “You’re a big, strong, healthy man and—”

  “And accidents can happen to anyone.” He knew that better than most. He and Melanie had thought they had their whole lives ahead of them. But she’d driven off one routine morning, and everything had changed.

  Briana looked so alarmed that Jack reached for her hand and enfolded it in his own. “My mother loves Wendy unconditionally, but with her health issues, she’s not capable of caring for a child, especially one with special needs.”

  Briana stared at their clasped hands, licked her lips, and nodded. “I’m capable.”

  Damn, but she was making this easier, and far more confusing, than he’d ever imagined. “I agree.” He squeezed her fingers. “That’s why I’d like to marry.”

  Her gaze shot up to his. “Marry?”

  “It’s important to me for Wendy to have a mother in every way, including legally. If you’re my wife, you’ll both be protected.”

  For once she was mute.

  “Should the need arise, I want her looked after by someone who truly cares about her.”

  Briana swallowed, nodded again, and after biting her bottom lip, she said, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask.”

  That took him aback. “You have?”

  She pulled her hand from his. “And I will marry you, of course.”

  Of course? What did that mean? Had Briana already thought about it? Jack shook his head. That didn’t make any sense. Sure, he caught her looking at him sometimes, but never had she made a move …

  “Jack?”

  “Well … all right.” Now he had no idea what to say.

  She rolled in her lips and flushed. “That is what you were asking, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes.” But he’d planned to do a lot more explaining and, if necessary, cajoling.

  Briana pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and straightened her shoulders. “Good. I think this will be the perfect solution.”

  “You do, huh?” He should be celebrating her willingness, not looking for catches. But she was such an intelligent little … nerd, that he’d expected some reserve on her part, some practical arguments.

  “Yes, I do. But I have some stipulations to go over first.”

  Jack put his head back. “Stipulations?” Briana was not the type to make stipulations. She gave of her heart and her time without ever asking for anything in return.

  “I want more children, Jack.”

  Though he was sitting, he reeled. At least figuratively.

  She rushed on after that bombshell to say, “You’re a wonderful father, and I love Wendy completely. You know that, right?”

  “Yes.” If he didn’t know it, if it wasn’t a fact, he would never marry her.

  “But she deserves siblings. I expect us both to have a long, healthy life, but we will age.” Briana leaned closer to appeal to him. “It wouldn’t be fair to leave Wendy left alone without people who love her. Without … family.”

  Jack tapped his fingers on the table and scrutinized her. What she said made sense to him, so he had no issue there. And if she wanted plain speaking, then he had no problem with that. “It’s a mercenary way of looking at more children, don’t you think?”

  “It’s a pragmatic way,” she corrected, “but never doubt that I’ll equally love any child I birth.”

  “Equally?”

  Indignation brought her brows together. “You know I would never shortchange Wendy.” With a fist to her heart, she said, “I love her like she is my own. Another child would just mean more love, and a better opportunity for Wendy to learn as she interacts.”

  “More children.” Jack mulled that over, and finally said, “I would like that.” He loved kids, and he liked Briana’s rationale. Hell, between them, they could love a half-dozen kids with no problem.

  Had she thought about the process of getting pregnant?

  Beaming, Briana relaxed. “Wonderful. So that’s settled then.”

  Meaning there was more? Curiosity gnawed at Jack. “What else?”

  “I’m going to finish school. I would be fully committed to marriage, I swear, but I still need my independence, and you need to know that you’re not responsible for me.”

  Jack started to speak, to correct her, but she held up a hand.

  “No, Jack. I know you, and you feel responsible for everyone. Me being younger, well, that just means that in many ways you still see me as a kid.”

  He didn’t refute that. At twenty-three, she wasn’t that far out of her teens, for God’s sake. But in the long run, it just didn’t seem to matter to him. “You are young.”

  She frowned again. “Although I assume you realize I’m a woman or you wouldn’t ask to marry me.”

  He wasn’t ready to go there yet. “I agree that you should finish your education. In fact, it’s my hope that once we’re together full-time, our schedule will offer up more opportunities for each of us. You could even take more classes if you wanted. And while I enjoy working from home, I’ve had to turn down big jobs that might’ve taken me away from Wendy too much. Between us, we might be able to make things more workable all the way around.”

  “Sounds perfect.” She beamed at him. “Then we’ve got that settled, too.”

  But Jack could tell she had more on her mind. “Is that it, then?”

  “Not completely, no.” After a lot of nervous hesitation, she blurted out, “If we do this, if we get married, I want you to …” Her chin lifted. “To try to love me.”

  That profound demand froze Jack. He stared, blank-brained, as Briana flushed, adjusted her glasses, and maintained eye contact.

  Damn. Usually Briana was so circumspect, so tactful, that he’d never quite imagined her saying something so … so ballsy. Or so emotional. She was an egghead. Smart, practical, matter-of-fact in all things.

  Love? The idea of it hurt him, left him hollow and sick.

  The sile
nce built, but she didn’t back down. She apparently knew what she wanted, and she was willing to state her case.

  He admired her, and he didn’t want to disappoint her, but he refused to lie. “Briana—”

  “I know.” She held up a hand to forestall him. “Your feelings for your deceased wife are still very real. I understand that. And I think it’s admirable that your vows meant so much to you, that you gave her your heart in such a complete way.”

  He felt a very big “but” coming on.

  “But I’m a woman, Jack, and I deserve everything. So if you want to marry me, regardless of the reasons, you can’t set Melanie on a shrine so that I’m always relegated to second best.”

  Behind the lenses of her glasses, Briana’s blue eyes looked huge and uncertain, but also determined. Jack knew she’d forced herself to have this conversation, and his heart softened.

  “I see.” She wasn’t demanding love, but the opportunity for love. “I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed.”

  Briana drew another deep breath. “If it turns out that your feelings for me never grow beyond fondness, then so be it. I’ll deal with that.”

  How? Was she saying she was okay with a marriage in name only? He hoped he hadn’t misled her with his intent.

  “The thing is,” she continued, “I don’t want you to fight a growing connection between us or feel guilty about it if you do start to care for me.”

  Jack went straight to the heart of the matter. “Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a little here? We only just discussed a new relationship, and you’re talking about love.”

  For a single heartbeat, she looked sad before she turned pragmatic again. “For you, it might be new. For me, well, I’ve known how I feel—about you and Wendy both—for some time now. That’s why it’s important to me for you to give us a fighting chance.”

  Some strange emotion stirred inside him. “How do you feel?”

  One side of her mouth quirked with chagrin. “I’ve been in love with you for a while.”

  Oh, hell. How could he have missed that?

  “I didn’t know.”

  “You made a point of not knowing. Because of that whole guilt thing, I think. But it’s okay. You were putting Wendy first, as you should, and you didn’t want to muddy the waters.”

  Astounding. He’d never known a woman like her. “I’m already fond of you, Briana. I wouldn’t even consider marriage if I didn’t like and respect you, and enjoy your company.”

  “And you think that should be enough?” Her mouth firmed. “I don’t.”

  “Bri.” What the hell could he say?

  She stood to pace. “If you want to change your mind, I’ll understand. But you won’t find another woman who’ll love you or Wendy more than I will.”

  Setting his coffee aside, Jack stood, too. He stared into Briana’s eyes, and he saw so much—things he’d always missed before now.

  “My motives are not all altruistic. Yes, I want what’s best for Wendy.” He moved closer and felt his muscles tightening. God, it had been so long. Far, far too long. “But I want for myself, too.”

  Her lips parted.

  “Marriage has many conveniences. Coordinating schedules. Easy conversation with someone whose company you enjoy.” As he advanced, she leaned back against the counter. “Shared interests, compatible personalities.”

  She nodded. “We can have all that.”

  His voice dropped. “But I want more.” He stepped closer and braced his hands on the counter behind her, enclosing her with his nearness. “I want a warm, soft body sharing my bed.”

  Briana’s jaw loosened. “Oh.” A pulse went wild in her throat, and color flushed her face. “Me, too.”

  Her reaction turned him on.

  “There are times,” he whispered, “when I’m sick with the need for sex. Not lights out, rushed sex with a stranger.”

  She looked at his mouth, and then into his eyes. “No.”

  Jack removed her glasses and set them on the counter. Without them, she seemed somehow vulnerable.

  And a little naked.

  “I miss the intimacy, Bri. I miss the emotional and physical closeness. So if we do this, if you say yes, do so knowing that I want the kind of sex that lasts hours and makes two people sweat and burn.” He cupped her face. “I want that with you.”

  Her hands lifted to his chest. She sucked in a hungry breath and, without saying a word, went on tiptoe to kiss him.

  three

  Briana couldn’t believe this was happening, but she relished every second. He tasted wonderful, felt better than that, and her insides shimmered with need, with joy and fear and uncertainty.

  Moments after meeting Jack, she’d fallen in lust. A few weeks after that, after watching him with his daughter and getting to know him as such a remarkable man, she’d fallen head over heels in love.

  She’d seen signs, so many signs, that he felt more for her than gratitude toward the hired help. But always between them was the tragedy of his wife’s death and the responsibility of always, always, putting Wendy first.

  And that had only made her love him more.

  How many men would deny themselves anything but duty? What man would fill his life with his daughter’s needs and be joyous about it? How many men could juggle work with single parenthood and the care of an ailing parent?

  Briana knew no other men like him. For her, Jack was the only man.

  Now, finally, what she’d always wanted, what she’d dreamed of having, was being offered to her.

  Except that Jack didn’t admit to loving her. She had to believe that, on some level, he already did. She had to believe that eventually he’d love her every bit as much as he did Wendy and his deceased wife.

  He was so tall, at least a half-foot taller than her. And where she bordered on thin, his physique was big bones, layered muscle, strength, and ability.

  Next to him, she felt feminine, like a woman instead of an egghead. The traits that had made her unappealing to other men were things he’d often admired—like her intelligence, her dedication to her studies, her curiosity, and her ability to think through situations.

  And given his heavy breathing, he liked other, more corporeal things about her, too.

  Both of his hands now cradled her face, and he deepened the kiss until she felt his tongue. At the first touch, he groaned like a man in agony.

  Her heartbeat sped up; desire twisted through her. To her disappointment, he pulled back, but he didn’t leave her. He pressed her head to his chest and just held her tight.

  With his heat surrounding her, Briana heard the pounding of his heart, inhaled his incredible scent. Against her belly, she felt the rise of his erection, and her knees almost gave out.

  “Jack?”

  He turned his face in to kiss her temple, and murmured, “Hmm?”

  “I don’t want a big wedding.”

  He went still, and then tilted back to see her. He continued to caress her, her back, her shoulders. Looking disappointed in himself, he admitted, “I hadn’t thought about it.”

  She didn’t care. “I don’t want a big wedding, and I don’t want to wait.” As far as she was concerned, the sooner they could wed the better. “How long will it take to make the arrangements?”

  His slow grin oozed sex appeal. It was the first time he’d ever grinned at her like that.

  “In a hurry?”

  “Yes.” She crushed herself close to him. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”

  He threaded his fingers through her short hair. “That’s nice to know, Bri.”

  Nice? God, what a vanilla word for how powerfully in love she felt.

  He tugged gently on her hair so that she looked up at him. After another soft, deep kiss that curled her toes and raised her temperature a few degrees, he said, “I can get us in front of a judge within a few days. Will that work for you?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re sure?” Considerate as always, he said, “I don�
�t mind doing the whole fanfare if that’s what you—”

  “No.” Self-conscious, she gestured down at herself. “You’ve known me awhile now, Jack. Can you picture me in a fancy dress? A wedding dress?”

  His gaze went over her body. “You’d be beautiful.”

  Pleasure left her face warm and her breath shallow. “Well, I can’t imagine it.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t want to imagine it. Dressing up is not my thing. Ditto on long formal ceremonies. I’ll be much happier if we just get it done.”

  He gave a low laugh of indulgence. “We’ll have the formalities behind us in no time, I promise.”

  “Good.”

  Then he sobered. “Until then …” He searched her face. “I care for you, Briana. I already told you that.”

  “I know.” She more than cared for him. She loved him. Completely. And she knew he liked her, probably more than he realized. She was far from dumb, and she had an astute understanding of human emotions. Right now, Jack felt grateful to her because she loved and cared for Wendy. He also took pleasure in their relaxed conversations, something he didn’t indulge in with many other people.

  For a man like Jack, a man burdened with so much, she considered their easy camaraderie a great beginning.

  “I don’t want to rush you or make you feel awkward in any way.”

  She was so busy with her own thoughts and with relishing his nearness, she didn’t understand. “Awkward how?”

  He trailed his fingertips from her neck, down her collarbone, and finally over a breast. Briana gasped—and an explosion of sensation spread out through her body.

  Jack’s expression tightened as he cuddled her in his palm.

  For her part, Briana wanted to melt all over him.

  He sought her gaze, watching her intently, maybe gauging her response as he continued to touch her, to find her nipple with his thumb.

  Oh, God, he couldn’t know how that affected her, how she felt it deep inside herself. “Jack …” she whispered.

  With his other hand, he caught her hips and drew her in closer to his body. “If you feel uncertain about spending the night before we’re married—”

  “I don’t.” She wanted to be with him. Right now. For so long she’d dreamed of this. Desire this strong was new to her, and she wanted to explore it in every way.